I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
