at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
