im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
