So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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