im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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