Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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