Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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