Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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