Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
