there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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