question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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