I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize