No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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