u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you will always have a special place in my vag
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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