wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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