This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
