Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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