think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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