Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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