Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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