I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
