Swine flu. Run for my life!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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