I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
