oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize