i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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