Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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