Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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