There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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