apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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