Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
they're like a gay fantastic four
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
