Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
