dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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