We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
