Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
