Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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