Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
