what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
