i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
