party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
