there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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