can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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