the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize