We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
