Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
