Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
