yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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