butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
