we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
