mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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