Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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