She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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