I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
