When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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