Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
