Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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