I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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