She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
