Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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